WYWTD- Pick Your Battles

Yesterday, one of my friends had been getting on my nerves. To describe to you briefly, she has been going through a very selfish phase in which she talks on and on about how bad she has it (even though I have definitely seen worse), acting in a way that affects others but only cares about herself, and continuously asking me to take care of her. I usually have a very high tolerance and I have put up with her b.s. for quite some time now. Most of her other friends have given up on her because of her constant selfishness but I still have held true to our friendship. Anyways, things have been building up and the yesterday I basically had the end of it. We were supposed to be going to this event and she asked me to take care of her, as she always does, and I just simply said "I'll watch over you but I'm not going to be your mother." She didn't really reply but just kept on drinking. Soon enough she was drunk and unfortunately she is a sloppy drunk and she was off doing mischievous things and making a fool of herself. I tried to stop her and just sit her down but then she started cussing me out saying that I don't know how to have fun and that I "won't let" her have fun. By that time, on top of everything else in the past, I was furious. I really wanted to smack her across the face and say "Hey you look like an absolute Fool!! You need to stop drinking and get ahold of yourself and stop being selfish!!!" But I didn't. Instead I just walked away and left her for the rest of the night. Not only was I against making a scene, especially in front of people that I do know, I figured that yelling at a drunk person was not a smart thing to do. I had to pick my battle, and that wasn't it. Of course I did talk about it to her today but my full feelings about her selfish situation has not been revealed yet to her. I noticed that I am waiting to choose my battle because once I do, I know I will fight and yell at full force. Sometimes certain situations are just not worth yelling at someone for, but every now and then they really are.

Pick and Choose your Battles.

WYWTD- Repetition...

As I continue trying to understand what holds us back from doing what we want to do, I constantly run into previous reasons. However, those reasons seem to vary within the reasons. For example, I keep finding that one reason people restrain from their initial reaction is because they are afraid of the consequences. But while "consequences" is one category, there is a scale within that category. The scale within the category is not a scale similar to 1 to 10 but the scale is more like sub-levels. Sub-levels in this particular category could be authoritarian, familial, public, or personal. Anyways, the point of me mentioning the sub-level was that I kept running into very similar situations with some different details, so the same category but different sub-level, and therefore some situations that I might write in future blogs may be just like this.

WYWTD- UCI Parking Nazi!!

Earlier this February I was oh so lucky to receive a parking ticket from none other than the parking nazis of UCI. Yes I know it was my fault but I still have the right to feel bitter about the situation. Anywho, it was a $52 ticket and I knew if i told my mom she would flip a b, so I did the best thing for my life and I didn't tell her. I just figure I would go to the parking office, pay the ticket in cash (because she checks all my transactions) and just be $50 down on my luck. About 3 days ago, I get a phone call from mom saying I got a parking ticket and in my head I was like "I better sit down and get ready to be yelled at and told how irresponsible I am." She began telling me that I should refute because in her mind it wasn't true but I told her it was and there was no way for me to refute the ticket. She then asked me when I was planning on telling her, my response "Never," and why didn't I tell her. After the phone call, her last question "Why didn't you tell," remained in my head for a few reasons. One was because I felt lucky she did not get as mad as I thought she would, and secondly because I felt it had to do with this blog. There have been a lot of things that I wanted or should have done but did not simply because I was scared of my mom or I was scared of something else. I would not necessarily say I did not want to face the consequences of my actions, but I was scared of the reactions I would receive from her. In my opinion, fear is a restraint from allowing you to do what you want to do.

FEAR.

WYWTD- Embarrassment

In a few posts back, I mentioned that public image was a reason why many people don't act a certain way or say a particular thing. As I keep trying to find new reasons, I seem to find embarrassment as a very prime reason. At first I wanted to tie in embarrassment in with public image, but although they seem very similar I am slowly understanding their differences.

The other day in class I arrived early and was just waiting for it to start. This girl sits in front of me and was talking very loudly on the phone. This really annoyed me because even though class had not started yet, it is an unsaid (sometimes even said) rule to not talk on the phone in class. Anyways, she was talking about some glasses that her mom bought her that she would not get caught wearing. It did not seem like she was embarrassed but she seemed more snobbish and spoiled. That was dealt with public image.

Embarrassment seems to deal more with not wanting to do something because they are self conscious. So when I mentioned in my previous post that my friends did not want to dance because they cared about their public image, that was not worded correctly. Their reason was that they were embarrassed and self conscious, they were not concerned with public image. That's all, I just wanted to make that clarification. So add embarrassment on the list too!

WYWTD- Bitting your tongue

A few days ago, the President of an organization that I am involved purposed changes to events that have happened annually for what seems like decades now. Many people, including myself, feel that since the person who took the position as President has gone a power trip ever since she assumed the position. She has many fine qualities that are required as a President and for the most part she does her job but sometimes, people on the executive board just want to punch her in the face to put it nicely. Anyways, when she purposed to change events, another executive board member threw a fit and while she did state her concerns for the change, she did not tell the President how she felt about the situation and her presidency as a whole. I was talking to the other executive board member and asked why she didnt say what she wanted to say and her response was simply respect. Even though she does not agree with what she is doing, she had to respect her decision and her position as President. I understand this reason because sometimes there are situations that I want to say something or do something but dont simply because I respect the person and it would be rude and improper to act or say otherwise.

RESPECT.

WYWTD- Superiority

Last night I went to my Aunt Tessa's 51st birthday dinner. It was a "Girls Only" dinner and my aunts, cousins, family friends, and my mom attended. The "of age" members of the event decided to take a round of shots and the under age members, such as my cousin Lisa and myself, just watched as they enjoyed round after round. Then, our oldest cousin Adena, offered Lisa and me a shot. I declined because I don't like drinking in front of my mom and for some reason, I find it disrespectful to her even though she knows I party hard. My cousin however, accepted with no hesitation but realized that her mom (the birthday girl) was watching her. Her mom is strict and I don't know why Lisa choose to say yes but she did and now she was under careful observation from her mom. As Lisa was about to take the shot she caught that her mom was getting angry. As a result, she said that she didn't want to anymore since she "doesn't drink that often." My Aunt was still angry and took a few more shots but we all left the restaurant on a happy note. I drove back to my aunt's house with Lisa and on the way back I asked her what restrained her from taking that shot, even though it was pretty obvious. Lisa said that she she could tell that her mom did not want her to and if she had taken that shot, she would have been in trouble. We continued talking about the issue and eventually came to the point that there are many things we wish to do but people like parents and bosses hold a power and those under this must abide by certain rules if they did not want to see the consequences.

Reason 6 Superiority and Consequences.

WYWTD- For the sake of sanity

Although this story does not pertain to me, it does involve me. One of my best friend, named Ally has been going through issues with her ex-boyfriend. I have heard the story and updates about it a million times and I am not going to type it out because honestly I am sick of thinking about it but it does pertain to this blog. I do however need to give you the background information. Ally used to date this guy named Jared and they had a pretty good relationship until last May. As in many relationships, there were a lot of lies being said from his side and my friend Ally, who considered him her first love, found it difficult to let go and cut off communication with him. Although I advised her to not talk to him again, mainly because I knew she would not be able to just be friends with him, she did so anyways. In doing so, she made many mistakes and her frustration towards him and his actions unfortunately resulted in her doing and saying crazy things to him. Eventually she stopped talking to him, but every now and then she tries to find an excuse to start up a conversation (this is where the blog comes in). So a few days ago, it was Jared's birthday and Ally had approached me with her dilemma: whether she should or should not say Happy Birthday to him. She said she wanted to say it because he did say happy birthday to her when they weren't talking. However, she also pointed out that she refused to because she simply hates him. I told her that I felt she shouldn't do it but that she should do whatever she felt was best. Ally replied that she wouldn't do it because I said that it would be a bad idea but in all actuality she wanted too. It was here when I asked her why? What was holding her back from talking to him again even if she really did want to talk to him? She responded that she did not want to lose her sanity. I understood exactly what she meant but I don't know if you will. What she meant was that every time she even starts to talk to him, she falls back into this pattern which resulted in embarrassing impulsive actions. When Ally had fallen under these patterns previously, she had referenced herself as insane. While Ally is no where near insane, some of her actions lacked the sanity factor. This is where I found the next reason.

Reason 5. Sanity